








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1000 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,797 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 453 | 16% |
| Smokes | 809 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 713 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 822 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $425,318 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VareniŠāvēji MickeyM | 43% | 113 |
| #2 | ProGuard2 | 42% | 139 |
| #3 | Para EU | 42% | 146 |
| #4 | Tālivaldis | 31% | 39 |
| #5 | Dzenis3000 | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ProGuard2 | 42% | 139 |
| #3 | Para EU | 42% | 146 |
| #4 | Tālivaldis | 31% | 39 |
| #5 | Dzenis3000 | 30% | 10 |
| #6 | ultimate_destroyer | 19% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Para EU | 17 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | ProGuard2 | 16 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | VareniŠāvēji MickeyM | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Tālivaldis | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProGuard2 | 407 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Para EU | 248 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | VareniŠāvēji MickeyM | 93 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | ultimate_destroyer | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tālivaldis | 24 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Para EU | +3.35 | 69 | 65 |
| #2 | ProGuard2 | +3.18 | 73 | 68 |
| #3 | QuinnDecim | -3.56 | 22 | 38 |
| #4 | VareniŠāvēji MickeyM | -3.59 | 32 | 60 |
| #5 | Tālivaldis | -3.94 | 25 | 47 |





