








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 402 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1014 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1662 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3055 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 2079 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,813,252 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ana1ButtPlug | 48% | 88 |
| #2 | xxajpmxx | 40% | 188 |
| #3 | Creamy G | 40% | 75 |
| #4 | Llama Boy | 39% | 134 |
| #5 | The Rizzler | 38% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | xxajpmxx | 40% | 188 |
| #3 | Creamy G | 40% | 75 |
| #4 | Llama Boy | 39% | 134 |
| #5 | The Rizzler | 38% | 79 |
| #6 | TallJordan | 38% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ana1ButtPlug | 20 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | The Rizzler | 17 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | xxajpmxx | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | TallJordan | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Creamy G | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxajpmxx | 247 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | Llama Boy | 243 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | The Rizzler | 135 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ana1ButtPlug | 103 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | TallJordan | 101 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ana1ButtPlug | +3.08 | 59 | 47 |
| #2 | Llama Boy | +1.67 | 59 | 45 |
| #3 | xxajpmxx | -0.84 | 63 | 46 |
| #4 | KUBA | -1.26 | 55 | 38 |
| #5 | The Rizzler | -1.67 | 42 | 38 |





