








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 544 | 21% |
| Smokes | 456 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 765 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 865 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $148,249 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nleo1337 | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Ana1ButtPlug | 39% | 23 |
| #3 | Llama Boy | 38% | 58 |
| #4 | KUBA | 38% | 69 |
| #5 | xxajpmxx | 36% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Llama Boy | 38% | 58 |
| #4 | KUBA | 38% | 69 |
| #5 | xxajpmxx | 36% | 59 |
| #6 | The Rizzler | 29% | 28 |
| #7 | Creamy G | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ana1ButtPlug | 7 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | The Rizzler | 4 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | xxajpmxx | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Creamy G | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | KUBA | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxajpmxx | 70 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Llama Boy | 61 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | KUBA | 44 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | The Rizzler | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ana1ButtPlug | 22 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nleo1337 | +8.96 | 64 | 52 |
| #2 | Ana1ButtPlug | +3.66 | 55 | 43 |
| #3 | Llama Boy | +3.08 | 60 | 48 |
| #4 | xxajpmxx | -0.68 | 58 | 41 |
| #5 | The Rizzler | -0.82 | 49 | 36 |





