








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 592 | 27% |
| Smokes | 569 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 396 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 655 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,244 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KACHOW | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | buchy | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | jesus john | 40% | 52 |
| #4 | trekmann bottom text | 38% | 37 |
| #5 | Alamedin | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | buchy | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | jesus john | 40% | 52 |
| #4 | trekmann bottom text | 38% | 37 |
| #5 | Alamedin | 33% | 27 |
| #6 | Sam le Slick Slime | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jesus john | 9 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | trekmann bottom text | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | buchy | 2 | 0.0146 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jesus john | 184 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Alamedin | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | trekmann bottom text | 32 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | buchy | 25 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sam le Slick Slime | 14 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buchy | +8.31 | 97 | 62 |
| #2 | jesus john | +3.88 | 94 | 55 |
| #3 | KACHOW | +3.49 | 100 | 30 |
| #4 | >:o | +1.16 | 79 | 58 |
| #5 | Sam le Slick Slime | -1.82 | 60 | 46 |





