








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
156 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 741 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 84 | 11% |
| Smokes | 203 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 331 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 123 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $42,817 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thing 3 (terrible) | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | CerealSauce | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Mr. Puffer | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Jose | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Chaka | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MapleFlavored | 9 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | Mr. Puffer | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Chaka | 4 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Thing 3 (terrible) | 2 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | Scooby off the Doobie | 2 | 0.0364 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jose | +3.07 | 46 | 54 |
| #2 | CerealSauce | +2.53 | 46 | 49 |
| #3 | Mr. Puffer | +2.49 | 44 | 50 |
| #4 | Thing 3 (terrible) | +1.69 | 26 | 45 |
| #5 | m1 | +1.65 | 91 | 56 |





