








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1735 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2342 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1848 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1257 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 545 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $560,884 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooby off the Doobie | 51% | 35 |
| #2 | Mr. Puffer | 49% | 85 |
| #3 | CerealSauce | 47% | 87 |
| #4 | Chaka | 47% | 202 |
| #5 | Thing 3 (terrible) | 45% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chaka | 38 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Thing 3 (terrible) | 30 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Jose | 23 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | CerealSauce | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Scooby off the Doobie | 7 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chaka | 813 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #2 | Jose | 424 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | CerealSauce | 211 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Mr. Puffer | 193 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Thing 3 (terrible) | 177 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1 | +3.40 | 76 | 59 |
| #2 | Mr. Puffer | +1.91 | 44 | 51 |
| #3 | Chaka | +1.72 | 66 | 58 |
| #4 | Scooby off the Doobie | +0.42 | 76 | 31 |
| #5 | MapleFlavored | -0.15 | 41 | 44 |





