








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3649 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4299 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3238 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2806 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 894 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $924,563 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Envy | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | Scooby off the Doobie | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | Copa | 58% | 55 |
| #4 | Mr. Puffer | 52% | 81 |
| #5 | CerealSauce | 50% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | CerealSauce | 50% | 210 |
| #6 | MapleFlavored | 47% | 202 |
| #7 | Jose | 46% | 138 |
| #8 | Thing 3 (terrible) | 46% | 136 |
| #9 | m1 | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MapleFlavored | 51 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | Thing 3 (terrible) | 22 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Jose | 21 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | CerealSauce | 17 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Mr. Puffer | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MapleFlavored | 676 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | Jose | 510 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | CerealSauce | 505 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | Thing 3 (terrible) | 193 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mr. Puffer | 167 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Copa | +2.51 | 78 | 46 |
| #2 | m1 | +2.38 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | Chaka | +1.42 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | Mr. Puffer | +1.23 | 41 | 54 |
| #5 | Envy | +1.08 | 60 | 49 |





