








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,912 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2899 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5070 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5359 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6584 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,855,690 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | king benny | 57% | 266 |
| #2 | Garlicshale | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | ReClaim | 53% | 113 |
| #4 | Jello | 52% | 66 |
| #5 | Quesito | 51% | 255 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Quesito | 51% | 255 |
| #6 | BOB | 51% | 65 |
| #7 | MGT | 48% | 96 |
| #8 | NLSN | 41% | 74 |
| #9 | sofi | 30% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jello | 28 | 0.0236 |
| #2 | king benny | 23 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | ReClaim | 23 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | MGT | 22 | 0.0114 |
| #5 | Garlicshale | 15 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quesito | 481 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | king benny | 380 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | Jello | 211 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | MGT | 182 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | ReClaim | 149 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MGT | +3.62 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | Jello | +2.30 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | king benny | +1.46 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | NLSN | +1.07 | 65 | 53 |
| #5 | Quesito | +0.64 | 83 | 56 |





