








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 119 matches | ||
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6043 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6742 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3407 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4126 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,878,060 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Garlicshale | 59% | 64 |
| #2 | king benny | 57% | 176 |
| #3 | MGT | 57% | 93 |
| #4 | dimple | 52% | 63 |
| #5 | washed little piss baby | 51% | 255 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MGT | 28 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | king benny | 22 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Garlicshale | 18 | 0.0141 |
| #4 | dimple | 18 | 0.0145 |
| #5 | washed little piss baby | 17 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dimple | 304 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | king benny | 286 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | washed little piss baby | 274 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | MGT | 195 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | beige | 79 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dimple | +5.70 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | MGT | +4.23 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | munch | +2.19 | 97 | 17 |
| #4 | Quesito | +1.05 | 81 | 58 |
| #5 | king benny | +0.92 | 74 | 62 |





