








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 369 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




160 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2886 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1708 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3353 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2110 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,420,347 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1013 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scouter | 59% | 68 |
| #2 | BOB | 54% | 84 |
| #3 | washed little piss baby | 53% | 113 |
| #4 | king benny | 52% | 155 |
| #5 | Quesito | 51% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Doja's Cat | 48% | 67 |
| #8 | Cock Shot | 46% | 133 |
| #9 | MGT | 45% | 64 |
| #10 | Jello | 45% | 67 |
| #11 | Gingeflo | 36% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | king benny | 30 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Jello | 26 | 0.0217 |
| #3 | MGT | 25 | 0.0207 |
| #4 | Scouter | 22 | 0.0170 |
| #5 | Gingeflo | 21 | 0.0217 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOB | 236 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | king benny | 233 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jello | 225 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | washed little piss baby | 148 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Cock Shot | 139 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scouter | +5.08 | 94 | 61 |
| #2 | Jello | +3.57 | 82 | 60 |
| #3 | MGT | +3.57 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | king benny | +0.72 | 71 | 68 |
| #5 | ReClaim | +0.42 | 85 | 39 |





