








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 358 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,609 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2969 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2856 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3148 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3636 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $530,541 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Satic | 94% | 18 |
| #2 | deveyyy | 94% | 18 |
| #3 | Rodriguez | 92% | 38 |
| #4 | BobaFEET | 87% | 30 |
| #5 | DEFINE | 80% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BobaFEET | 87% | 30 |
| #5 | DEFINE | 80% | 103 |
| #6 | Figsy | 68% | 41 |
| #7 | WhiteBombo | 61% | 23 |
| #8 | John Chilling | 54% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Chilling | 19 | 0.0164 |
| #2 | deveyyy | 5 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | Figsy | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | DEFINE | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Rodriguez | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEFINE | 167 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | John Chilling | 154 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | WhiteBombo | 91 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rodriguez | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Satic | 54 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhiteBombo | +3.73 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | BobaFEET | +3.21 | 91 | 52 |
| #3 | DEFINE | +3.03 | 81 | 68 |
| #4 | Angre Doge | +1.13 | 82 | 71 |
| #5 | Satic | +1.08 | 65 | 77 |





