








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 363 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,245 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2226 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3655 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4704 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3660 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,360,770 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1384 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Pwbbb | 67% | 45 |
| #5 | ✬OPSIDER✬ | 64% | 64 |
| #6 | DEFINE | 64% | 89 |
| #7 | Rodriguez | 59% | 39 |
| #8 | 𝑭𝒓𝒊𝒛𝒛𝒆𝒓 | 56% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✬OPSIDER✬ | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | 𝑭𝒓𝒊𝒛𝒛𝒆𝒓 | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Angre Doge | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Rodriguez | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Missions | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝑭𝒓𝒊𝒛𝒛𝒆𝒓 | 247 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | ✬OPSIDER✬ | 180 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Missions | 152 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | DEFINE | 116 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Pwbbb | 111 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝑭𝒓𝒊𝒛𝒛𝒆𝒓 | +3.38 | 95 | 65 |
| #2 | Pwbbb | +2.17 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | DEFINE | +1.55 | 81 | 69 |
| #4 | Missions | +1.43 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | Angre Doge | +0.85 | 78 | 76 |





