








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3075 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2594 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2755 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1173 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1406 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,984 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crystal Daniel2[Valk] | 63% | 78 |
| #2 | MoDCore | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Joif | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | DiNozzoHarris | 49% | 96 |
| #5 | Lord Noobie | 48% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DiNozzoHarris | 49% | 96 |
| #5 | Lord Noobie | 48% | 54 |
| #6 | RJG | 38% | 37 |
| #7 | Ramoslamo | 32% | 19 |
| #8 | huwgomez | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DiNozzoHarris | 16 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Joif | 6 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Ramoslamo | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Crystal Daniel2[Valk] | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | RJG | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joif | 145 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | DiNozzoHarris | 95 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lord Noobie | 90 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Crystal Daniel2[Valk] | 73 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | RJG | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joif | +3.61 | 77 | 74 |
| #2 | RJG | +1.07 | 53 | 54 |
| #3 | Crystal Daniel2[Valk] | +0.38 | 49 | 41 |
| #4 | samskiadamski | +0.34 | 44 | 47 |
| #5 | MoDCore | -0.71 | 26 | 49 |





