








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 733 matches | ||
| Wingman | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5681 | 54% |
| Smokes | 335 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 2753 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1731 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,836,746 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samskiadamski | 63% | 78 |
| #2 | Sam7372 | 51% | 258 |
| #3 | Plague_doctor[Valk] | 51% | 337 |
| #4 | Alexzom12[Valk] | 50% | 192 |
| #5 | GothMommy | 48% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samskiadamski | 63% | 78 |
| #2 | Sam7372 | 51% | 258 |
| #3 | Plague_doctor[Valk] | 51% | 337 |
| #4 | Alexzom12[Valk] | 50% | 192 |
| #5 | GothMommy | 48% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plague_doctor[Valk] | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Sam7372 | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | samskiadamski | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Alexzom12[Valk] | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | GothMommy | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam7372 | 383 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | Plague_doctor[Valk] | 148 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #3 | samskiadamski | 135 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Alexzom12[Valk] | 56 | 0.01 | 2 min |
| #5 | GothMommy | 8 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crystal Daniel2[Valk] | +2.10 | 55 | 47 |
| #2 | samskiadamski | +1.43 | 44 | 50 |
| #3 | Sam7372 | -0.04 | 51 | 41 |
| #4 | Alexzom12[Valk] | -1.31 | 32 | 29 |
| #5 | Plague_doctor[Valk] | -2.84 | 20 | 30 |





