








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 811 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1387 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1165 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1114 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $479,483 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joif | 52% | 84 |
| #2 | samskiadamski | 49% | 96 |
| #3 | Ramoslamo | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | Phreeker | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | DuckofQuacks | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | bad at game | 41% | 29 |
| #8 | Spacepilot99 | 38% | 21 |
| #9 | TrailstaRTX | 38% | 24 |
| #10 | RJG | 34% | 32 |
| #11 | huwgomez | 31% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samskiadamski | 20 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Joif | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | MoDCore | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Ramoslamo | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | bad at game | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joif | 331 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | samskiadamski | 206 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | MoDCore | 147 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | huwgomez | 87 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | bad at game | 79 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joif | +3.70 | 77 | 74 |
| #2 | RJG | +1.32 | 53 | 51 |
| #3 | samskiadamski | +0.05 | 44 | 46 |
| #4 | bad at game | -0.50 | 39 | 51 |
| #5 | Ramoslamo | -0.58 | 68 | 48 |





