








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2515 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2833 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2609 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 672 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $929,802 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 969 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | small sludge | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | Clubwho | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | AtomicCaleb | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | Keith | 54% | 48 |
| #5 | Large Stone Statue | 53% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | The Toaster | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | Ford Gaming | 42% | 45 |
| #12 | FoksMachine | 42% | 50 |
| #13 | Paulmall | 41% | 39 |
| #14 | Sten | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rexy | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | AD2 | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Little Iron | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | KFC Zinger Box | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | FoksMachine | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Little Iron | 384 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | Keith | 228 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ford Gaming | 227 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | Rexy | 194 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Large Stone Statue | 162 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rexy | +3.14 | 70 | 52 |
| #2 | small sludge | +2.86 | 74 | 62 |
| #3 | FoksMachine | +0.39 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | AD2 | +0.30 | 51 | 57 |
| #5 | BalakehB | +0.02 | 68 | 53 |





