








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1909 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1780 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1240 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1849 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $430,144 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 297 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᠌Zacceus | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Ãrthur | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | razzers | 64% | 22 |
| #4 | Dessu Hopo | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | Latepate | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | Snowman | 41% | 17 |
| #18 | N1kke | 41% | 22 |
| #19 | UKKE banditcamp.com | 40% | 10 |
| #20 | estronautti | 33% | 9 |
| #21 | Kossu | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dessu Hopo | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | yamaha ei pamaha | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | qweeny =) | 3 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Latepate | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | razzers | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1kke | 150 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| #2 | Dessu Hopo | 127 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | Snowman | 124 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #4 | razzers | 100 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | HYP3 | 95 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Latepate | +4.32 | 93 | 49 |
| #2 | Ãrthur | +1.98 | 88 | 66 |
| #3 | razzers | +1.96 | 72 | 84 |
| #4 | Daddy FyyZioN | +1.83 | 80 | 68 |
| #5 | HYP3 | +1.53 | 76 | 56 |





