








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2047 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 486 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6596 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7083 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5188 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4249 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,876,364 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Havenoyd | 49% | 65 |
| #2 | Mr. Knight | 45% | 254 |
| #3 | CrazyCD(k) | 44% | 201 |
| #4 | AlienCum | 42% | 43 |
| #5 | CCR | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | CrazyCD(k) | 44% | 201 |
| #4 | AlienCum | 42% | 43 |
| #5 | CCR | 39% | 44 |
| #6 | GOD^OF^WAR | 34% | 88 |
| #7 | Atheist... | 24% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Knight | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | CrazyCD(k) | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | GOD^OF^WAR | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Havenoyd | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | AlienCum | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Knight | 1288 | 0.26 | 30 min |
| #2 | Havenoyd | 179 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | CrazyCD(k) | 177 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | GOD^OF^WAR | 153 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Atheist... | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GhostFreak | +3.54 | 56 | 58 |
| #2 | Havenoyd | +0.44 | 56 | 43 |
| #3 | GOD^OF^WAR | -1.39 | 52 | 41 |
| #4 | AlienCum | -1.48 | 36 | 25 |
| #5 | Atheist... | -1.63 | 28 | 48 |





