








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4114 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4119 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2717 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3346 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $943,526 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DadBodAaron | 40% | 141 |
| #2 | loogah | 32% | 28 |
| #3 | jeryfizzle | 32% | 47 |
| #4 | Formerly[...] | 29% | 24 |
| #5 | PV | 29% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jeryfizzle | 32% | 47 |
| #4 | Formerly[...] | 29% | 24 |
| #5 | PV | 29% | 59 |
| #6 | drink.milk | 25% | 44 |
| #7 | Draven | 23% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PV | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Formerly[...] | 4 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | jeryfizzle | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | DadBodAaron | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | drink.milk | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DadBodAaron | 245 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | PV | 160 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | jeryfizzle | 144 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Formerly[...] | 114 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | Draven | 102 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draven | +3.53 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | jeryfizzle | +3.10 | 66 | 71 |
| #3 | Formerly[...] | +1.39 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | loogah | +1.27 | 68 | 74 |
| #5 | DadBodAaron | +0.10 | 51 | 62 |





