








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 711 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 973 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




115 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10818 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9922 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9703 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8186 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 8776 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,942,597 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1535 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klond | 46% | 107 |
| #2 | Chooch | 44% | 78 |
| #3 | krazed -x1- | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klond | 46% | 107 |
| #2 | Chooch | 44% | 78 |
| #3 | krazed -x1- | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klond | 13 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | krazed -x1- | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Chooch | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klond | 190 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | krazed -x1- | 155 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Chooch | 111 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j1re | +0.34 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | krazed -x1- | +0.25 | 66 | 64 |
| #3 | Klond | -0.40 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | Chooch | -0.87 | 73 | 55 |





