








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 479 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1696 | 11% |
| Smokes | 5502 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4058 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4484 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,821,930 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P0RAISE | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | ʸᶰᵍT1SN3R | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | Whitaker | 51% | 57 |
| #4 | KamyK | 50% | 254 |
| #5 | :'{ | 47% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Whitaker | 51% | 57 |
| #4 | KamyK | 50% | 254 |
| #5 | :'{ | 47% | 118 |
| #6 | ツ ¢λgαη™ | 47% | 76 |
| #7 | upieczonykurczak | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :'{ | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ツ ¢λgαη™ | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | KamyK | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | upieczonykurczak | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Whitaker | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :'{ | 613 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | KamyK | 300 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | upieczonykurczak | 236 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Whitaker | 130 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | ツ ¢λgαη™ | 60 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :'{ | +1.79 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | miqes | +1.32 | 83 | 49 |
| #3 | P0RAISE | -0.13 | 76 | 54 |
| #4 | KamyK | -0.45 | 83 | 49 |
| #5 | upieczonykurczak | -0.83 | 67 | 58 |





