








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 338 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1637 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1914 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2472 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 732 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,616,953 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ ¢λgαη™ | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | ็็็็ | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | Tom | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Jason | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | :'{ | 51% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tom | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Jason | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | :'{ | 51% | 55 |
| #6 | miqes | 50% | 254 |
| #7 | M4DYN | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4DYN | 10 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | miqes | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | ็็็็ | 5 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Tom | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | :'{ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :'{ | 239 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | miqes | 215 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jason | 121 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Tom | 106 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | M4DYN | 100 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | +2.54 | 69 | 63 |
| #2 | :'{ | +1.62 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | M4DYN | +1.31 | 78 | 53 |
| #4 | miqes | +1.07 | 83 | 52 |
| #5 | KamyK | -0.28 | 83 | 48 |





