








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 583 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1155 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1819 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1131 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $545,201 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KamyK | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | ʸᶰᵍT1SN3R | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | :'{ | 48% | 145 |
| #4 | miqes | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | Whitaker | 47% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | :'{ | 48% | 145 |
| #4 | miqes | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | Whitaker | 47% | 112 |
| #6 | Ho Lee Fuk | 44% | 48 |
| #7 | badman | 42% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :'{ | 19 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Whitaker | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | miqes | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Ho Lee Fuk | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | badman | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :'{ | 793 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #2 | Whitaker | 347 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | miqes | 66 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ho Lee Fuk | 56 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | badman | 54 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :'{ | +3.19 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | miqes | +2.88 | 86 | 51 |
| #3 | KamyK | +2.18 | 85 | 39 |
| #4 | Whitaker | -0.27 | 81 | 52 |
| #5 | ʸᶰᵍT1SN3R | -1.21 | 63 | 22 |





