








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 115 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3678 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2024 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1925 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 800 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $460,505 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 588 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʸᶰᵍT1SN3R | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Whitaker | 53% | 109 |
| #3 | KamyK | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | ツ ¢λgαη™ | 48% | 145 |
| #5 | miqes | 47% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | KamyK | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | ツ ¢λgαη™ | 48% | 145 |
| #5 | miqes | 47% | 118 |
| #6 | Ho Lee Fuk | 46% | 48 |
| #7 | badman | 36% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ ¢λgαη™ | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Whitaker | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | miqes | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Ho Lee Fuk | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | badman | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whitaker | 330 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | ツ ¢λgαη™ | 131 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | miqes | 110 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | KamyK | 68 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ho Lee Fuk | 57 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miqes | +2.57 | 84 | 51 |
| #2 | :'{ | +2.54 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Whitaker | +0.13 | 79 | 53 |
| #4 | KamyK | -0.11 | 81 | 46 |
| #5 | Ho Lee Fuk | -1.84 | 52 | 66 |





