










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 491 | 32% |
| Smokes | 429 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 322 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 300 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,640 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mag1 ★ | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | vicxo | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | Snowwys | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | Bertildo | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | VΛL1D | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sdb300311 | 50% | 16 |
| #7 | Stormy 嵐 | 47% | 15 |
| #8 | lille_mand | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | Gr1m R3aper | 0% | 3 |
| #10 | #fuck cs2 JDP | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sdb300311 | 8 | 0.0260 |
| #2 | Stormy 嵐 | 4 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | Bertildo | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | vicxo | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Snowwys | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stormy 嵐 | 28 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #2 | sdb300311 | 27 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | vicxo | 21 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bertildo | 18 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Snowwys | 15 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #fuck cs2 JDP | +5.73 | 73 | 51 |
| #2 | LDP | +2.56 | 58 | 51 |
| #3 | vicxo | +2.05 | 90 | 38 |
| #4 | sdb300311 | +0.14 | 63 | 37 |
| #5 | VΛL1D | -0.10 | 49 | 44 |





