








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 324 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 970 | 31% |
| Smokes | 874 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 682 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 611 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $533,630 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snowwys | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | ✪ Brotato ✪ | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | lille_mand | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | sdb300311 | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | LDP | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | LDP | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | vicxo | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | #fuck cs2 JDP | 41% | 17 |
| #8 | VΛL1D | 41% | 22 |
| #9 | Bertildo | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sdb300311 | 14 | 0.0333 |
| #2 | LDP | 8 | 0.0296 |
| #3 | #fuck cs2 JDP | 6 | 0.0169 |
| #4 | VΛL1D | 4 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | vicxo | 2 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #fuck cs2 JDP | 95 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #2 | LDP | 70 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #3 | VΛL1D | 40 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | sdb300311 | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪ Brotato ✪ | 19 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #fuck cs2 JDP | +4.44 | 69 | 66 |
| #2 | LDP | +3.92 | 68 | 47 |
| #3 | Bertildo | +2.36 | 75 | 33 |
| #4 | sdb300311 | -0.43 | 49 | 47 |
| #5 | Stormy 嵐 | -0.53 | 54 | 52 |





