








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 280 | 20% |
| Smokes | 334 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 324 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 446 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,628 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | LDP | 63% | 19 |
| #6 | Hørning slagteren | 63% | 40 |
| #7 | Bertildo | 61% | 98 |
| #8 | #fuck cs2 JDP | 60% | 107 |
| #9 | vicxo | 59% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #fuck cs2 JDP | 13 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Hørning slagteren | 8 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | vicxo | 7 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Bertildo | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Gr1m R3aper | 4 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #fuck cs2 JDP | 344 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hørning slagteren | 102 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | LDP | 72 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Gr1m R3aper | 65 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bertildo | 42 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #fuck cs2 JDP | +4.47 | 69 | 60 |
| #2 | vicxo | +2.71 | 90 | 31 |
| #3 | Hørning slagteren | +2.03 | 72 | 70 |
| #4 | LDP | +1.33 | 50 | 53 |
| #5 | Bertildo | +0.23 | 57 | 29 |





