








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 662 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 1100 matches | ||
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15292 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9762 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6163 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6385 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5554 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,424,328 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 792 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Lethal | 61% | 109 |
| #10 | the diddler | 60% | 782 |
| #11 | LaChèvre(Yung Chev not yo bitch | 57% | 100 |
| #12 | jump | 54% | 70 |
| #13 | BadLuck | 49% | 74 |





