








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2060 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1476 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1109 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1329 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1433 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $943,993 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bennett | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | BossMan Wluv | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | garrison | 39% | 18 |
| #5 | mak | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bennett | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | BossMan Wluv | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | garrison | 39% | 18 |
| #5 | mak | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bennett | 5 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | BossMan Wluv | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | mak | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | garrison | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 120 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #2 | mak | 61 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | bennett | 48 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | garrison | 27 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | BossMan Wluv | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | +2.18 | 52 | 70 |
| #2 | BossMan Wluv | +0.04 | 60 | 25 |
| #3 | sir sploinkerton | -0.29 | 64 | 57 |
| #4 | bennett | -0.42 | 56 | 47 |
| #5 | garrison | -0.81 | 36 | 50 |





