








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 576 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,069 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10314 | 34% |
| Smokes | 7936 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6624 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5195 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,425,298 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 492 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tante gabi | 58% | 77 |
| #2 | KING BOJJI | 55% | 83 |
| #3 | aDream?. | 51% | 427 |
| #4 | Christoph Smaul | 48% | 83 |
| #5 | ✪ obisao | 47% | 311 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪ obisao | 47% | 311 |
| #6 | SarD | 42% | 187 |
| #7 | TMSN | 41% | 54 |
| #8 | Tsuin | 38% | 42 |
| #9 | TowB ツ | 36% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ obisao | 22 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | aDream?. | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Christoph Smaul | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | SarD | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | KING BOJJI | 6 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ obisao | 1401 | 0.21 | 34 min |
| #2 | SarD | 337 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Christoph Smaul | 258 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | aDream?. | 237 | 0.03 | 7 min |
| #5 | TMSN | 211 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KING BOJJI | +2.61 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | ✪ obisao | +1.71 | 68 | 56 |
| #3 | Tsuin | +1.45 | 89 | 56 |
| #4 | TowB ツ | +1.35 | 77 | 27 |
| #5 | TMSN | +1.18 | 67 | 68 |





