








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 361 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 443 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4983 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5000 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2955 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4635 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2956 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,334,611 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | natsuki best waifu | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | KING BOJJI | 57% | 90 |
| #3 | YARRACK BEZAHL ICH | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | tante gabi | 52% | 100 |
| #5 | aDream?. | 48% | 323 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ☯ Max ☯ | 47% | 311 |
| #7 | SarD | 45% | 158 |
| #8 | Tsuin | 44% | 39 |
| #9 | Christoph Smaul | 42% | 33 |
| #10 | TowB ツ | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☯ Max ☯ | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | aDream?. | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | SarD | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | KING BOJJI | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | tante gabi | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☯ Max ☯ | 2120 | 0.32 | 51 min |
| #2 | SarD | 303 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | natsuki best waifu | 173 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #4 | aDream?. | 163 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #5 | tante gabi | 162 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | natsuki best waifu | +2.99 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | KING BOJJI | +2.11 | 77 | 60 |
| #3 | ✪ obisao | +1.50 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | Christoph Smaul | +1.08 | 66 | 64 |
| #5 | TowB ツ | +0.84 | 74 | 42 |





