








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 521 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 645 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,281 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2086 | 9% |
| Smokes | 7811 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 7570 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5814 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,538,868 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KING BOJJI | 58% | 52 |
| #2 | HnS. | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | tante gabi | 54% | 110 |
| #4 | ☯ Max ☯ | 51% | 427 |
| #5 | ✪ obisao | 48% | 323 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | HnS. | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | tante gabi | 54% | 110 |
| #4 | ☯ Max ☯ | 51% | 427 |
| #5 | ✪ obisao | 48% | 323 |
| #6 | SarD | 43% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ obisao | 29 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | ☯ Max ☯ | 24 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | SarD | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | tante gabi | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | KING BOJJI | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☯ Max ☯ | 2954 | 0.33 | 72 min |
| #2 | ✪ obisao | 1408 | 0.20 | 34 min |
| #3 | SarD | 252 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | tante gabi | 186 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | KING BOJJI | 104 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HnS. | +2.65 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | KING BOJJI | +2.54 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | ✪ obisao | +1.80 | 68 | 57 |
| #4 | ☯ Max ☯ | -0.45 | 44 | 62 |
| #5 | aDream?. | -1.08 | 33 | 59 |





