








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1384 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1847 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2705 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2886 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2060 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $315,981 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mavoh | 70% | 40 |
| #2 | Kebab | 69% | 26 |
| #3 | gandalf5000 | 67% | 42 |
| #4 | Mugiwara | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | knubbes# | 64% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magicXX | 10 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | SlaynThemAll | 6 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | illusN | 5 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | marius | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Spauld1ng *climbLOUNGE | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marius | 176 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | magicXX | 91 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | illusN | 71 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kebab | 65 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | mrmj | 53 | 0.73 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kebab | +5.64 | 89 | 81 |
| #2 | mrmj | +2.42 | 88 | 53 |
| #3 | magicXX | +1.42 | 87 | 47 |
| #4 | SlaynThemAll | +0.99 | 78 | 53 |
| #5 | borito | +0.94 | 78 | 56 |





