








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 607 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,226 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5227 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5567 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3563 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3869 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,478,343 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MONEY | 69% | 48 |
| #2 | Kanna | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | Xtrellah | 52% | 110 |
| #4 | c0bra | 52% | 205 |
| #5 | Orb Hunter | 51% | 470 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0bra | 23 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Orb Hunter | 19 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | hyvoltagex3y | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Z£D ♚ | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Kanna | 5 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orb Hunter | 355 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #2 | c0bra | 325 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Z£D ♚ | 276 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | hyvoltagex3y | 144 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kanna | 81 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z£D ♚ | +2.60 | 60 | 67 |
| #2 | SocialistSamurai | +2.42 | 61 | 59 |
| #3 | c0bra | +0.83 | 57 | 44 |
| #4 | Kanna | +0.78 | 57 | 67 |
| #5 | Orb Hunter | +0.43 | 73 | 49 |





