








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 662 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1097 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2181 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2608 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $994,977 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 904 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0bra | 52% | 100 |
| #2 | SocialistSamurai | 52% | 110 |
| #3 | hyvoltagex3y | 49% | 84 |
| #4 | Orb Hunter | 44% | 266 |
| #5 | Z£D ♚ | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MONEY | 13 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | c0bra | 11 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Orb Hunter | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | SocialistSamurai | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | hyvoltagex3y | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0bra | 180 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Orb Hunter | 170 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | SocialistSamurai | 139 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Z£D ♚ | 72 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | hyvoltagex3y | 69 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SocialistSamurai | +4.26 | 63 | 51 |
| #2 | Z£D ♚ | +3.73 | 61 | 66 |
| #3 | Orb Hunter | +3.14 | 78 | 47 |
| #4 | c0bra | +2.72 | 59 | 46 |
| #5 | MONEY | -2.48 | 21 | 15 |





