








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1072 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1377 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1255 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 414 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,085,634 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 463 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SandZ | 60% | 55 |
| #2 | aLbert | 59% | 111 |
| #3 | zozzy | 58% | 98 |
| #4 | PsychoCobbler | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | venom | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | mikoboy | 46% | 69 |
| #9 | BeastMa the Tank Engine | 45% | 76 |
| #10 | DODOL PELER | 42% | 53 |
| #11 | Lana Del Rey | 41% | 32 |
| #12 | Pringle | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zozzy | 29 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | aLbert | 25 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Lana Del Rey | 20 | 0.0311 |
| #4 | Beauty and Beastma | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | venom | 6 | 0.0174 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zozzy | 585 | 0.30 | 14 min |
| #2 | aLbert | 376 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | SandZ | 175 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | mikoboy | 99 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | BeastMa the Tank Engine | 82 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aLbert | +4.24 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | Beauty and Beastma | +2.98 | 90 | 48 |
| #3 | zozzy | +2.71 | 63 | 66 |
| #4 | BeastMa the Tank Engine | +2.57 | 72 | 42 |
| #5 | MFIP | +1.25 | 77 | 37 |





