








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 819 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9361 | 59% |
| Smokes | 2556 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2894 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1102 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,378,872 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 733 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | venom | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | Absolute Cinema | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | aLbert | 61% | 128 |
| #4 | PsychoCobbler | 59% | 96 |
| #5 | MFIP | 58% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lana Del Rey | 42 | 0.0216 |
| #2 | MFIP | 39 | 0.0199 |
| #3 | Risky_Moves | 32 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | aLbert | 24 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | SandZ | 20 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SandZ | 585 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | aLbert | 434 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | Lana Del Rey | 260 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | PsychoCobbler | 201 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Risky_Moves | 179 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Absolute Cinema | +3.96 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | aLbert | +3.27 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | zozzy | +1.91 | 62 | 65 |
| #4 | venom | +1.49 | 71 | 43 |
| #5 | 尼gger | +0.91 | 43 | 49 |





