








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 640 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Wingman | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2137 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1718 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2229 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2042 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $985,414 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 628 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illumi | 55% | 139 |
| #2 | xX_420_BlazeIt_Xx | 41% | 58 |
| #3 | ANATOLY CYKA | 33% | 24 |
| #4 | e.dafydd | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illumi | 55% | 139 |
| #2 | xX_420_BlazeIt_Xx | 41% | 58 |
| #3 | ANATOLY CYKA | 33% | 24 |
| #4 | e.dafydd | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ANATOLY CYKA | 7 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | illumi | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | xX_420_BlazeIt_Xx | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illumi | 384 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | xX_420_BlazeIt_Xx | 169 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | ANATOLY CYKA | 147 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #4 | e.dafydd | 71 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illumi | +1.18 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | xX_420_BlazeIt_Xx | +0.84 | 73 | 52 |
| #3 | Raulxz Coca-Cola.co.uk | -1.07 | 55 | 48 |
| #4 | e.dafydd | -2.25 | 39 | 56 |
| #5 | ANATOLY CYKA | -4.08 | 6 | 51 |





