








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1003 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1879 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1631 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1527 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $617,242 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | Y O H A N I | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | Slurm | 67% | 27 |
| #4 | 310 | 65% | 17 |
| #5 | Thenoperino | 59% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gulagAIM | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Thenoperino | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slurm | 114 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | Thenoperino | 89 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | gulagAIM | 87 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | | 53 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Y O H A N I | 53 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y O H A N I | +2.74 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | Antarkles | +2.07 | 66 | 46 |
| #3 | Thenoperino | +1.57 | 67 | 70 |
| #4 | | +0.55 | 91 | 74 |
| #5 | gulagAIM | +0.42 | 77 | 51 |





