








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Esplay | 15 matches | 2,011 | |
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,063 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 699 | 23% |
| Smokes | 559 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 898 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 907 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $331,355 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Slurm | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | | 42% | 24 |
| #9 | | 38% | 8 |
| #10 | Chazza | 25% | 8 |
| #11 | -F1skeN | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Luckyadde #zubaya | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | +1.55 | 85 | 74 |
| #2 | Antarkles | +1.02 | 44 | 41 |
| #3 | Luckyadde #zubaya | +0.93 | 68 | 48 |
| #4 | | +0.72 | 74 | 54 |
| #5 | Arvidsjaur | +0.59 | 69 | 63 |





