








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7760 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5473 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3616 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4279 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $919,819 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joseph Scarlet | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | oranger | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | lizzyc | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | Lucas | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joseph Scarlet | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | oranger | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | lizzyc | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | Lucas | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucas | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | oranger | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Joseph Scarlet | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oranger | 174 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #2 | lizzyc | 165 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Lucas | 75 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Joseph Scarlet | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joseph Scarlet | +2.26 | 62 | 50 |
| #2 | oranger | +1.78 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | Lucas | +1.14 | 72 | 62 |
| #4 | Republic | +0.07 | 52 | 74 |
| #5 | lizzyc | -2.20 | 56 | 63 |





