








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 507 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2332 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10365 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4007 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 8458 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6361 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,716,800 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cudden | 522 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Nox (Tax The Poor) | 416 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Avve47 Арвид | 299 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | HiX ッ | 183 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | _♕TantQvick♕_ | 172 | 0.10 | 4 min |





