








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 595 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 151 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5647 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3443 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3851 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2927 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $469,402 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nox (Tax The Poor) | 63 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | EnV1 | 30 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | Tutelarbucket94 | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | ⛧ Rezty | 14 | 0.0119 |
| #5 | Avve47 Арвид | 6 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nox (Tax The Poor) | 641 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Tutelarbucket94 | 605 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #3 | EnV1 | 158 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Avve47 Арвид | 156 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | _♕TantQvick♕_ | 94 | 0.13 | 2 min |





