








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 357 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,557 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3750 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3683 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4597 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4324 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,386,240 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Etch | 61% | 109 |
| #2 | Nox (Tax The Poor) | 53% | 58 |
| #3 | _♕TantQvick♕_ | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Tutelarbucket94 | 45% | 97 |
| #5 | cudden | 45% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | HiX ッ | 44% | 59 |
| #7 | Busnatta | 44% | 25 |
| #8 | OhneJツ | 42% | 64 |
| #9 | LASSE_K0NG0 | 38% | 74 |
| #10 | EnV1 | 33% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OhneJツ | 11 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Nox (Tax The Poor) | 11 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | Tutelarbucket94 | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | EnV1 | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | HiX ッ | 6 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Etch | 923 | 0.40 | 25 min |
| #2 | LASSE_K0NG0 | 693 | 0.43 | 17 min |
| #3 | Tutelarbucket94 | 440 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #4 | cudden | 255 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | OhneJツ | 245 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cudden | +3.49 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | Nox (Tax The Poor) | +2.59 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | HiX ッ | +0.61 | 65 | 62 |
| #4 | Avve47 Арвид | +0.54 | 72 | 65 |
| #5 | EnV1 | +0.18 | 41 | 48 |





