








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Faceit | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8478 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7003 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6023 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4792 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,664 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 440 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | |NЅ| Zero Schneider | 55% | 55 |
| #2 | Orca | 54% | 250 |
| #3 | oooouuuuusssshhhkk | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | mxnke | 53% | 73 |
| #5 | do0bz/u^ | 53% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ✪ Kelpy G | 50% | 335 |
| #7 | BryGuyyy | 50% | 167 |
| #8 | Stuff | 50% | 186 |
| #9 | stunna | 42% | 33 |
| #10 | Shmelloh | 41% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orca | 33 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | ✪ Kelpy G | 27 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | do0bz/u^ | 18 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Stuff | 16 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | oooouuuuusssshhhkk | 14 | 0.0134 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BryGuyyy | 820 | 0.23 | 22 min |
| #2 | ✪ Kelpy G | 748 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| #3 | Orca | 630 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #4 | do0bz/u^ | 489 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | Stuff | 295 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chasonnn | +1.39 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | Orca | +1.26 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | do0bz/u^ | +1.14 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | ✪ Kelpy G | +0.71 | 72 | 61 |
| #5 | BryGuyyy | +0.56 | 60 | 72 |





