








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2075 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2036 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3621 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2983 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,027,851 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mxnke | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | oooouuuuusssshhhkk | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | |NЅ| Zero Schneider | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | stunna | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | do0bz/u^ | 52% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ✪ Kelpy G | 52% | 226 |
| #7 | Orca | 51% | 217 |
| #8 | Chasonnn | 50% | 186 |
| #9 | BryGuyyy | 50% | 127 |
| #10 | Shmelloh | 48% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chasonnn | 33 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Orca | 23 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | ✪ Kelpy G | 17 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | mxnke | 6 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Shmelloh | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chasonnn | 779 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | BryGuyyy | 611 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #3 | ✪ Kelpy G | 560 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #4 | Orca | 556 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #5 | do0bz/u^ | 365 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orca | +1.35 | 64 | 65 |
| #2 | ✪ Kelpy G | +1.15 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | BryGuyyy | +1.00 | 60 | 72 |
| #4 | Chasonnn | +1.00 | 79 | 72 |
| #5 | do0bz/u^ | +0.87 | 70 | 63 |





