








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3705 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4780 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3073 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3351 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2858 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $770,506 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | |NЅ| Zero Schneider | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | oooouuuuusssshhhkk | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Orca | 53% | 136 |
| #4 | do0bz/u^ | 53% | 140 |
| #5 | Chasonnn | 50% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Stuff | 50% | 127 |
| #7 | ✪ Kelpy G | 49% | 217 |
| #8 | mxnke | 47% | 32 |
| #9 | stunna | 45% | 44 |
| #10 | Shmelloh | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chasonnn | 27 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | ✪ Kelpy G | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Stuff | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Orca | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | do0bz/u^ | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chasonnn | 650 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | ✪ Kelpy G | 536 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | do0bz/u^ | 434 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | Orca | 330 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | stunna | 244 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orca | +1.18 | 63 | 64 |
| #2 | ✪ Kelpy G | +1.14 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | do0bz/u^ | +1.05 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | Chasonnn | +1.04 | 79 | 74 |
| #5 | BryGuyyy | +0.88 | 63 | 70 |





