








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3537 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2220 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1371 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2232 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $393,764 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brian | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | ✪ Cure | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | trance | 65% | 136 |
| #4 | Clumsy | 64% | 102 |
| #5 | ʜᴇᴀʟɴᴄʀᴜꜱʜ | 62% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | sploingus | 59% | 17 |
| #9 | konotoki | 58% | 24 |
| #10 | Ashamed | 58% | 38 |
| #11 | tensdrippy DROP.SKIN | 57% | 14 |
| #12 | icetray44 | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trance | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Clumsy | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | ʜᴇᴀʟɴᴄʀᴜꜱʜ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Ashamed | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | konotoki | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trance | 749 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #2 | Keago :) | 424 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | Clumsy | 318 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | ʜᴇᴀʟɴᴄʀᴜꜱʜ | 223 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ashamed | 148 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sploingus | +3.55 | 95 | 64 |
| #2 | CLOUDZINO ♿ | +1.91 | 80 | 64 |
| #3 | tdoytchev | +1.73 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | Ashamed | +0.81 | 87 | 61 |
| #5 | ✪ Cure | +0.41 | 75 | 60 |





