








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 191 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,917 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2832 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2229 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1653 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2203 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $621,576 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Cure | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | tdoytchev | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | brian | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | Clumsy | 61% | 49 |
| #5 | CLOUDZINO ♿ | 61% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Ashamed | 59% | 22 |
| #7 | trance | 57% | 80 |
| #8 | ʜᴇᴀʟɴᴄʀᴜꜱʜ | 57% | 56 |
| #9 | sploingus | 53% | 15 |
| #10 | konotoki | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trance | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | CLOUDZINO ♿ | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | konotoki | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Ashamed | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | ʜᴇᴀʟɴᴄʀᴜꜱʜ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CLOUDZINO ♿ | 534 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | trance | 389 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #3 | ʜᴇᴀʟɴᴄʀᴜꜱʜ | 195 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Clumsy | 167 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪ Cure | 137 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sploingus | +3.51 | 96 | 62 |
| #2 | tdoytchev | +2.14 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | CLOUDZINO ♿ | +1.51 | 81 | 64 |
| #4 | ✪ Cure | +1.27 | 75 | 62 |
| #5 | Clumsy | +0.57 | 74 | 58 |





