








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3264 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2830 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1522 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2223 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $324,418 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Cure | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | brian | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Clumsy | 66% | 86 |
| #4 | tdoytchev | 65% | 17 |
| #5 | CLOUDZINO ♿ | 65% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Keago :) | 57% | 80 |
| #8 | konotoki | 57% | 14 |
| #9 | sploingus | 53% | 15 |
| #10 | Ashamed | 53% | 19 |
| #11 | icetray44 | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CLOUDZINO ♿ | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Clumsy | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Ashamed | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Keago :) | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | ʜᴇᴀʟɴᴄʀᴜꜱʜ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CLOUDZINO ♿ | 737 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #2 | Keago :) | 302 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Clumsy | 292 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | ʜᴇᴀʟɴᴄʀᴜꜱʜ | 148 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ Cure | 131 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sploingus | +3.25 | 96 | 63 |
| #2 | tdoytchev | +2.04 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | CLOUDZINO ♿ | +1.77 | 80 | 63 |
| #4 | ✪ Cure | +0.68 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | trance | +0.60 | 81 | 67 |





